Without knowing much of anything about monkeys, I’d have to say that it’s probably monkeys chattering and squealing outside my window now and then
- and every nightfall and dawn.
All I can ever see from my window is bamboo, a lot of it.
Though I’ve tried to spot them at nightfall, it’s too thick and dark to make anything out.
At dawn I’m a lot less interested in catching a glimpse of …probably monkeys, more interested in getting back to sleep.
Damn monkeys! …probably.

Things like that are difficult to foresee, when you figure you’ll figure it all out when you get there.

The guy/ my new boss was waiting at the airport for me when I got there. He said he left his house at 4pm.
I had also left my last apartment in Saitama at 4pm. All the trains to the other train to the train to the airport were delayed. It might’ve been a problem for me, but the guy who took over my last job showed up at his new/ my old apartment early, so I didn’t feel much like sticking around for the extra hour and a half anyway.
My new boss said there was a faster way to my new city, but he didn’t know it, so we went the way that he did know.

It took longer than the flight, and was a bit awkward, being that I didn’t/ don’t ever have a whole lot to say, but I liked it better than the conversation on the train to the train to the airport with some other foreign guy who spotted me with my 4 bags.
It seems that his wife is Japanese, they have 3 kids, no money, and he is reluctantly being forced to buy a house in Tokyo. He teaches English at kid’s birthday parties on weekends for a little extra money. He smelled a little odd + had nothing else of any consequence to say; He said it anyway.
A lonely Nepali guy saw us/ 2 other foreign people speaking in English, so he politely joined in.
They changed to another train together + I hope everything works out for them.

I remembered that you’re not supposed to take shaving razors on an airplane, so I packed mine in a box I’d arranged to have shipped to my new apartment. Then I couldn’t shave for a few days.
I remembered that - to my disadvantage, …but forgot to move my mini Swiss-Army scissors out of my backpack, so I had to open things/ show things to the airport security staff.
I’d filled every bit of space in all my bags + it took a bit of time to get it all back in.
Guess it’s lucky the guy who took over my old job and apartment and his wife showed up early - so that I would leave a little earlier.

I went so far as to pack all my towels, soap, + razor together (so I could find them easily later), …and like I already said, the box didn’t show up for a few days.
I had to borrow hand towels to take a shower. The hand towels were only hand towel sized, but they smelled like the mold of many larger towels.
I got a few sticks of incense at a store - which did not make the towels any cleaner, but they did smell better.
+ having packed all my soap away, I had to buy some more cheap stuff at a store. I’d heard that the scent of geraniums makes insects less interested in biting you. + was lucky enough to find some geranium scented soap, which somehow makes my hands itch
- though, in its favor, I will attest to the fact that my hands have no insect bites on them.

I sent most of my clothes in my 2 big suitcases by delivery truck - because the airline dropped its luggage weight limit way way down. I packed everything to save on shipping costs/ airline fines, which led to me having only had 2 shirts/ 2 pairs of socks/ 2 pairs of shorts to last however long it took for the boxes to show up.
It did not take too long for everything to arrive, but I did buy some detergent + try to wash what I had (+ the hand towels I borrowed); That’s funny because the washing machine that came with the apartment will wash things very well, …though it will neither rinse nor spin dry anything you’d have it soak and soap up.

Turning the washing machine on also floods the entire balcony with water. I tried and tried to have it, wash, rinse, and spin my clothes, + eventually wound up with slightly sudsy mud water up to my ankles.

The apartment that came with the washing machine ….Egad!

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=6MktsfzjOTM]
There are thick grey cobwebs all over.
There are a number of doors off their hinges, and leaning against a wall.
The doors leaning against the wall have holes in them, as do all the walls.
There is only 1 futon for me to sleep on.
It is yellowed- like badly kept teeth, and there are no sheets, nor pillowcases for either of the pillows - which are browned - like very badly kept teeth.
There is a small table with a regular sized tire sitting on top of it. Why? - I do not know.
The toilet never stops running/ The fan above the stove never stops running.
- They are both heavily stained with grease
All of the screens on all of the windows each have holes large enough for birds (of varying sizes) to come inside + eat what bugs or mice there may be within.
I found at least 20 cockroach traps under the sink - which made the whole kitchen stink of sticky sweet poison.
That is why I had to go out to buy the incense.
There were several frozen cockroaches in the freezer and about 30 (intact) baby cockroaches stuck to the scrubbing side of a sponge.
+ I already mentioned the damn monkies (probably) that keep waking me up.

I was happy when my bike, my clothes and towels, tea and incense collection showed up here. Previously I had been walking far too far, in what I am told is now just a warm up to the real heat ahead. (4 hours walk the other day - that hurt my old man hips.)
Cycling is a good way to see a new town and to keep cool (the breeze), but certain patches of this city stink of cow or pig poo, and the stink comes and goes where it will. (It is not something I like to have hit me when I am breathing heavy - indeed …breathing at all.)

Rice fields, cow or pig farms (and their odors) aside, there is not the nature I was looking forward to meeting here. I’ve since seen signs and brochures that call this area “the Florida of Japan”.
It is an apt comparison in that it is hot and boring here. All the things you want to see and do are a long drive away, and many of the people drive like idiots.

I drive very carefully now because I’m not perfectly sure my international license is totally valid here, and I just realized today that the car I was given to use has not been inspected for a considerable time.
Also, as I mentioned, there’s nothing to see or do in the immediate area, so need to hurry there.

The lady who told me Kagoshima is cooler than where I used to live - She used to live in the big city on the water across the bay, in sight of the volcano I was so interested to come and see. The city I live in is not on the water, not in sight of that volcano I’d always wanted to see smoking away.

It’s damn hot.
I’ve sweat so much in just the past week, that the metal buckle on my watch has rusted.
- I didn’t notice this until my wrist started bleeding in several places - something of an inconvenience…

My new co-workers are both married Canadians. I was taken to watch the one at work - so I could copy what he did during my first week. He was good enough to take me an additional long way down a long road to a pretty nice beach that nobody is allowed to swim on. (Riptide)

He had a few hours before he had to be back in the office, it was technically my day off and it was, of course, hot, so he decided we should go swimming at a waterfall he knew of. If my bathing suit were not packed up in a box somewhere in transit, I would not have thought to bring it to a one hour pre-school English class.
He, likewise, just had the underpants he was wearing, but he had many more spare pairs than me. He jumped in, swam around a bit while I waded. I wanted to see the top of the falls. There was a rope you could climb up the cliff face, which we did - in our underpants. He said there was more cool stuff up there, which there was, but the only safe way back down was to go down the falls in the water.
He told me about some elaborate safety tests he had done + went down before me.
I didn’t want to walk around all day in wet underpants (with just my 2 day old/ sweat soaked other pair to change into, so I took off the ones I was wearing + tossed them onto a rock at the bottom of the falls + slid down the waterfall on my bare ass.

I like the idea of that.

It was cold in the water, but the sun was strong enough to dry me in a few minutes. I retrieved my underpants, shorts, shirt and got dressed again. Then as we were walking back to his car, I slipped on a slimy rock and fell in the water with all my clothes on.

That waterfall is about an hour away from my house. I can paint a couple pictures of it.
I found a “temple” without any buildings after work this afternoon, which could be good for one, …

maybe 2 more paintings. The beach and the water I was shown were both grey. The bay I drive by on my way to several of the places I’m to be working at have ugly grey concrete walls along the road, and beyond the sand - in the water. They’re also about an hour away/ not really worth visiting.

My new boss, and the one co-worker who is not going back to Canada for good at the end of the month are both quite nice. The guy who is leaving is also very good to me. He showed me an Indian restaurant, just a block away from my new company and a good bakery. I’ve found 2 internet cafes which won’t let my web-camera work.
I’ll have to explore the far off areas, but here is not what I had hoped it would be.
It is better for me than where I’ve just left, but I’ve also left my fiance a long long way behind. She said she would join me here in 6 months time If I thought I’d like to stay here longer than that, …but it doesn’t seem so.

Why they call this “city“: “Deer, something, city” of: “Deer, something, Island” prefecture - when there are no deer whatsoever anywhere near or far from here, is the only thing I have since thought to add to my list of things to: “find out or do” before I move on once again.

The End - this time

The next weekend/ the last weekend I took everything else from my old apartment to my friend’s old apartment, …where I live now. I went to his farewell party and came back to Nagano to drop my old company’s car off.

>Your cartoon makes NO sense at all!!
>

—–It`s about Transformers.   (…..They turn into stuff…)

This (attached) is probably easier to understand.

I got your package yesterday.
The vice-principle let me out of school 2 1/2 hours early so I could go to the doctors + pay some stupid bill.
 You`re only able to pay that sort of bill at: city hall, or at the finance counter of the post office.  They both close at 4:30 (I finish work at 5), and you can`t pay it on Saturdays either.  I had gone to the post office at 5pm and tried to get the guy (who sits at that counter `til 6 or 7) to accept some cash for a payment stamp, but he always says that they finish at 4:30.
Anyway I got there at 3 + paid it, then went home to get the patient card I needed to see the doctor, + of course, in the door is the note that says I got a package from you. 
  I was at the doctor`s + the pharmacist`s for 2 hours.  They asked me all kinds of questions like:  Do you ever feel a numbness in your hands/ fingertips?  Do you sweat a lot? Do you ever have trouble seeing right?
  I kept saying: “Yes, all the time!”

but they just looked worried, ignored it, and continued down the list.

I went back to the post office when I was all through with all of that, + that guy was still sitting at the financial counter at 6pm - doing nothing `cept reminding people that they didn`t do any financial matters after 4:30.

I have to sit here from 8:15 to 5pm regardless of whether I have anything to do or not too.  It used to bother me, …and I went to meet some people from a friend`s company.  He works 2-5 hours a day.  I said it sounds good + they thought that meant that I would start working fo them on the 31st.

I like the country, but I don`t get much chance to appreciate it here.  When I do, I do, but seeing as I`m an old man: I need to slow down - sleep late…

I hate the city though.  This other company has a Nagano branch.  I`m gonna see if they can`t transfer me back here - which is really stupid, because I am here right now.

 I`ll be driving my company`s mini car down to my old city tonight.  The radio in the car only plays the sounds of the engine, so I may try out your i-pod under cover of dark - in route.
I like the color.  Some of your musical selections I`m not so sure about, but I haven`t heard any new music since college.

The card was really cool.

The movie looks to be good.
The gummi candy`s got all geletin in it, so I`ll give it to whoever.
(The cake that mom sent me 2 weeks ago has beef fat in it, so I gave it to Rie + her mom.)
It`s good that all the stuff made of chocolate is labeled as such, because I squeezed the packages a little, and I don`t think they retained their shapes.
It`s okay.
  Chocolate is chocolate, and I don`t discriminate!

I’ve always had a pretty poor impression of coorporations, and I know that’s not singular to me.  Loads of people probably resent the idea (and the practice) of having to wear clunky shoes - and a suit that makes moving your arms constraining.  Why do we all have to waste the better parts of the day indoors - hustling forms?  Working for a coorporation on the other side of the Earth can push the issue of desk work out of the forefront of the mind, …but I do work for a corpooration.   What I used to like about this corpooration, was that they mostly forgot about me.  I did my job, and they never had reason to show any concern but, … This corpooration has recently tripled the number of its middle managers. A metaphor that  approximates the situation:      ” Fat kids (crowding) around a pizza’.” I skipped a part of my company training and I’m glad that I did.I console myself with the thought that there is a reason for everything that I do, and finding that there was no reason for me to go to training - I didn’t. Now these (metaphorically) chubby chocolateers are waddling their way around me. A metaphor that better approximates the situation: “Fat kids crowd around a pinata’.” 

The nice lady from the Nagano branch of my company said that the head office was trying to call me on Friday and Saturday nights. Why would you call a guy on a Friday or a Saturday night? I’m glad that they never got through. Some guy called looking for: 佐藤　愛/ Ai Sato.  I might’ve assumed too much from that call; It could have been a wrong number, but Japanese girls are known to give people alternate phone numbers rather than simply rejecting a fellow.  He sounded really disappointed that I didn’t know Ai Sato. My company might have my number from 2 years ago, but I’m not sure… There were all kinds of rumors going around that my company would soon be bankrupt.  Those rumors might’ve just been a tactic to get people to defect to other companies.  I never actually heard any of the rumors form anyone other than a friend of mine who did switch companies said it was so. Perhaps they really can’t afford to call me… 

 They told the head of the Nagano branch to ask me to call the main office between 6 and 7pm.  I have the kind of cell phone service plan that costs me a whole lot of money if I make any call over a couple of minutes.  I’m also a cheap-ass.  If I have to talk to idiots I would like it to be on their dime/ and during working hours, but I did call them. In the interests of berevity I called them several minutes before 7, but I got a message saying that that isn’t a real phone number.  It was 2 years ago that I last used that number…  Maybe they change them periodically so that their employees will unwittingly answer - not knowing who it is.   That happened a number of times a number of years ago - Oh Man! I hate when you’re relaxing at home and you answer the phone, and it’s some clueless supervisor! The 1st company that I worked for in Japan didn’t get my number for the first 3 months.  I thought I did well with that.  The cool guy that worked there asked if he could have it, and I forgot to specify that he ought not give it out, ..but once he had it, people from all over Saitama were calling me asking me to forsake my few days off for extra work. If insulin grew on trees I would not need to work for a corpooration/ participate in Society like I do now; I doubt I would.   I have come to like my new city better anyway -  Better than the unending concrete of Saitama. - Not quite as well as my last city, …but it is catching up.    When my girlfriend came over the holidays we drove to the  park near the top of the volcano and went hiking 3 times.  The last day we thought we heard a bear, …but it didn’t really sound so much like a bear…  She got the idea that the volcano was stirring, which felt right to me, but how would I know.There are no volcanos in New Jersey. We played frisbee with little kids another time. We went to the orange water hotspring halfway up the volcano another time.  That was neat.  You get in the nice hot orange water, and your skin turns orange. There was a cheerleader with orange skin in New Jersey, we called her; “the orange cheerleader”, but  she used funny tanning lotions - not Iron enriched volcanically heated water. 

 I dug my old glow in the dark Spiderman underpants out of  the closet to wear to the movies (under my pants though/ underpants) (It was Spiderman 3 of course). She liked it too  …the movie more than my underpants. Before she came I went to a hospital and another doctor’s office.People don’t go to doctor’s offices like they do in America;  When they have a snuffly nose they go to the hospital.     I went to the hospital, and I went to the counter that said 1st time patients, and I said “Hello this is my first time.” and “Could I please see a doctor to get my prescription refilled”.  I said that 1st bit, and that other bit both - in Japanese.  The Japanese woman behind the counter laughed and said - in Japanese: “You don’t speak any Japanese at all do you?!!!”  I replied along the lines of: “What language do you suppose I’ve been speaking?!” - only I said it slightly more politely (and in Japanese).  She looked “unhappy” to hear me say this.  I said again, in Japanese, again,; “This       is   my   1st    time   at   this   hospital.”      “I   need    to   get   a   prescription   refilled.  What do I need to do to see a doctor”.    Then she said, in a tentative beaurocratic way:  “Well, …this hospital doesn’t have any doctors.” I left and went to the clinic that the nurse at my school recomended.  It was farther away, a lot smaller, kinda’ hard to find, and probably really only for children.  There were toys on the shelves and puppets hanging from the ceiling.  There were 2 toddlers in a crib, and 5 or 6 mothers reading story books to 7 or 8 children (with snuffly noses).  I got through about 2 pages of “My Neighbor Totoro” before they called me in.  The doctor said that the nurse of my school had mentioned that I might be coming, but he wasn’t sure what I needed.  “Insulin” I said.             (All of this conversation took place in Japanese as well, but he wasn’t a d*^@$ead.)  He was reluctant to prescribe a lot of insulin/ syringes without seeing some of my medical history.  I gave him the number to the clinic I used to go to in my old city, but they had already closed for the holidays.  A nurse that worked for him called a couple other hospitals/ clinics looking to see if there wasn’t someplace which could do the necessary (unnecessary from my perspective) blood tests before prescribing me any insulin.  One hospital said that they would see me, This was of course the hospital where that daft *&^% said there were no doctors.  I told the nurse that I had already gone there, so she called back and looked a little confused when she told me that she spoke to a lady who said that some man had come in over an hour ago talking crazy. When I do take it upon myself to speak, very few people ever have trouble understanding me, but some imbiciles see that a person is not Japanese and can’t be swayed of the opinion that only Japanese people can speak Japanese.  (This is will repeat - It alarms me.) Sometimes you can speak with someone in Japanese for ten or twenty minutes …and then they ask you if you can speak Japanese. Sometimes you have dinner with someone, and they ask you at the end if you can use chopsticks. I’ve been here a long time, and I believe I’ve put up with a LOT of crap,  

I love my girlfriend, the scenery (away from the cities) is good, and I like the low cost tofu, but a person can only be asked whether he knows how to bow so many times a day before he becomes reluctant to communicate with anyone new.(Bend at the waist - Yes?) I was at that clinic from about 3:45 to 6:30, because that nurse had borrowed my blood monitor kit to call other clinics and ask them if they knew about it/ used the same kind.  I would think a lot of them were closing at that time, …and indeed - some of them were likely afraid to agree to admit anyone who wasn’t Japanese.  I would have just gone home, but she had the last of my test strips and she just kept telephoning. I told my girlfriend all of that when she arrived the next day.  I told her about the lady at the 1st hospital and she said: “F*&% that B*%*!”  (She studied English in Australia, so she knows how to communicate. I’m proud of her.) The next Monday I went to another clinic.  Some nurse interviewed me - in Japanese - again with no problem.    Then I talked to a doctor.  Then they took blood and made me pee in a cup.  Then I had to talk to the doctor again and he said that my pee was good, but my blood was a little high.  I told him that I ran out of my other kind of insulin - the kind I’ve been asking doctors to prescribe to me for 8 years, but they never have;  They always say my blood isn’t very good, but they’re generally content that I haven’t died or gone blind yet.  But I have died, and on some occassions I do go blind. After talking to another nurse for another 20 minutes about how much of everything I would need month by month, I waited a long time to be called up for my turn to pay and finally got to leave!  I’ve been asking for that fast acting insulin for sooooo long!! No one ever wanted to risk putting me on it.   I just told all those new nurses and the new Doctor at my new clinic that I used to use it, but ran out, so they prescribed me “more”.   Then I went to the pharmacy where they didn’t have my usual insulin - just the fast acting stuff (which I did get for the first time finally!). 

The people at the pharmacy explained in Japanese that they would have to have my usual insulin delivered - within 2 days at the very latest.  (They said the number 2 in English - many many times for some reason (probably because I am not Japanese, and although I understood the greater part of everything else that they said in Japanese, they were happy that they knew how to say “2″ in English.  Maybe they wanted to show off)). I was not impressed for 2 reasons: There’s nothing impressive about that +It took 4 days. My girlfriend went to a pair of weddings over the weekend.  I guess you don’t bring a date to weddings in Japan;  I wouldn’t have wanted to fly to Kyushu for one night anyhow.  She wrote to say that she caught the bouquet, which made me nervous.  I went painting near the orange water onsen we went to the week before.  There had been buds on a tree right near the orange river.  I thought they would be in full bloom ( a little over a week later), but they were only just starting to open.  At any rate that painting turned out pretty well.   I wasn’t able to finish the other picture that I started.  I might have - there seemed to be just enough daylight left, but 2 people came down the hiking path well over an hour after anyone else.  They asked me where they were - It was not where they wanted to be.  I found myself driving them (about 30 minutes) to the station in my city.  (It was about 15 minutes to the nearest bus stop, but if this city is like any other place I’ve lived before, there would only be around 3 or 4 busses a day.)   They asked me if I spoke Japanese, and I said that I was able to, but rarely ever bothered to say very much.  The girl seemed really suprised to hear me say that; It turns out that she’s only been here for a few months.     You could talk to a group of Japanese people for hours/ days/ or longer and never shake some of them of the presumption that Americans can never speak Japanese.  (This I have repeated. - It alarms me.) What I told her is that there just isn’t much that I want to say. What I didn’t tell her was that: I only ever ask a question - if I can not get the answer on my own.   There was a yellow tubelike thing near my seat in the teacher’s room.  At the next week’s teachers’ meeting I picked it up and saw that it had my name on it.  What could it be? There was a cylinder inside of it, which had an opening at one end with a hole cut into the side - giving it the appearance of a whistle.  I forgot that I was in a teachers’ meeting and tried to get the whistle looking thing to produce a sound …to no avail (for the best I suppose).  I put it in my pocket to ask Ms. M.  Ms. M would know what it was.  I asked Ms. M, and Ms. M knew what it was.  She told me that it is a thing which is used to collect pee …so the doctors can check it.  I told her I had thought it was a whistle.  She said it was funny watching me blow into it during the teachers’ meeting, but that is was okay, because they probably don’t recycle them. I am an advocate of recycling - whenever possible, with, possibly, this exception. 

http://www.youtube.com/v/1b8ng1-Oa4c

The toilets in this country have little sinks on top of them- to wash your hands or whatever. When you flush, water comes out of the little spout at the top.

I’ve always felt that pants – are towels that we wear on our legs; Some people even go so far as to wear those intriguingly textured terry cloth pants…,

but I thought I should perhaps splurge on a hand towel to hang over some of the exposed pipes that run across the wall to my toilet.

I wasn’t doing it to impress the guests I had coming, but to help keep anyone in a nylon track suit feel comfortable – if and when they decided to wash their hands from the top of my toilet.

There is a towel/ blanket shop under my apartment. I had gone there once before, but in the meantime, forgot why I never went back. I assumed it was because of my here to fore – limited towel/ blanket demand.

The hand towels were pretty cheap there. The face towels were larger, prettier, and cheaper than the hand towels. I grabbed a hand and a face towel, which – together – would have been 100 yen and took them to the register and I waited for anyone in the shop to notice I was there. When the guy did come and notice me he said I couldn’t buy those towels. “Why?” I asked. (It was a towel shop after all.)

He said that you can’t buy 1 face towel and 1 hand towel, you have to buy 5 of each, or none.
He folded them both up and walked away.

That was 2 weeks ago, and it still stirs me up to think about it,

Not least of all because I only have 1 face!

How do they stay in business? What does he expect me to do with the other 4 towels?

It’s a good place to shop if you like clerks who go out of their way to be unhelpful, …and you’re married and have 3 kids/5 people in your family, and you need precisely that many towels/ blankets, but who else would go there otherwise? What if you were going to the beach with 6 sexy girls?
Would you have to buy 10 beach towels/ or 35?

Japanese towels suck anyway – you can get more water off of you with a thick napkin,
but that could add up to several trees worth after a year or so.

I explained all of that to my guests when they came, and perhaps – not coincidentally, some of them forgot their bath towels when they left.

(You might be interested to know that bath towels here are nearly twice the size of a standard handkerchief.)

I didn’t, however, say anything about needing any toothbrushes, and now I have 5 of them, so it may’ve just been by accident that they left all that stuff.

When they were here we went snowboarding. They picked out a cool place to go, and we all got up early and waited for the girls to put their makeup on. I’ve been asking girls for years if they really need to pay such attention to the fine details of their eye-makeup, when they always wear ski goggles on top of it; They always say yes.

When they did, eventually - finish, we got into my old roommate’s friend’s brand new car. It was very impressive! It still had plastic on the seats, and a computer that counted down the distance to your destination. It must’ve had the wrong kind of tires though, because we couldn’t get up the hill.

I don’t suppose anyone would have wanted to leave it parked in the road 6 kilometers from the ski-park and walk that distance. At any rate, we didn’t. We found an adequately non-steep place to go not too far off; + the steeper slopes there were closed off due to lack of snow.

The next week some other guests came and we tried to go to the ski-park right next to the one we had to go to the previous week. There was no longer enough snow there though, so we wound up going to the one we couldn’t make it up the hill to, the week before.

That place was much much better. The snow wasn’t really ideal for skiing/ snowboarding, but you couldn’t ask for better snowball snow. No one asked me to stop throwing snowballs at them, but nobody threw them back at me as exuberantly either. (They wouldn’t have had to, my aim is pretty bad.) I had a great time, and would definitely make an effort to go there often, …if I still lived here.

You see, the manager of my company called me this morning. He was driving, someone else in the car with him was talking, and it was a long (often interrupted) story, but it seems that: all of the teachers at all of the schools here like me a lot, they think I’m doing a wonderful job, they think I have a good character / nice personality, and they prefer me to certain predecessors, but someone somewhere (who is completely mental and has a father - who works for the board of education) disagreed with the general assessment loudly enough that the head of the Board of Education decided they may as well try to see how someone else would do in my place, and I have to be put somewhere else.

That just goes to show that one person can make a difference, …though not necessarily to anyone else’s benefit.

I often felt it my responsibility, as a reasonably intelligent human being, to help this one sorry individual pull their head out of their own ### / “see the light of reason”, but thought it better to do it gradually

– and indeed, most people will resist change/ resist anything uncomfortable/ and pass blame wherever else they can.

I know I used to, but now I really try hard to get to the honest truth of things. It’s hard to see through “how you want things to be”, to appreciate “how they actually are”.

Anyway, I’m glad I won’t have to teach those ackward adult classes with the one cranky/ drooly old man here anymore. It’s nice to know that the articles which I had to write for the town paper will no longer be creatively: ”edited” to a degree that they come to mean something entirely different.

Otherwise I really liked this town/ this area a whole lot. My girlfriend was thinking/ and seemed to have decided to come to live up here – closer to me, so it’s good that I have to leave before she accepted any job in this area. The head of my company said that they can get me a job somewhere in the dead concrete city suburbs very easily, but I would hate to have to live someplace without lots of trees.

Really, what I’d like to do is stay in Nagano and not teach an adult class, but changes do keep things interesting.

So, as it was 2 years ago, when I had 2 weeks to pack up everything I own and move to someplace far off and away that I didn’t want to go to: I again have 2 weeks to pack up everything I own, and move someplace -?- ….

I had a girlfriend in High-School,
…just 1.

+ She once went to a fortune teller.

She didn’t say very much about it until she broke up with me.

It was something along the lines of: we had different things in store for us, and that she was planning to go on a trip with some guy named Steve.
She said, that the fortune teller told her: ‘That I would one day live in China, and have a weird religion, and eventually meet a girl “just like her”’.
It did strike me as bizarre and off the topic (of whoever that “Steve- d%&$(%!!” was) at the time, but:
Several times since I came to Japan, I remembered hearing that prediction and laughing…
Most recently when I took a picture of my new girlfriend and noticed something more than just a slight resemblance to that first one,
…but I don’t hold it against her.

I like it when all the little bits and pieces come together.

There were a few here and there, and in between;
Then I lived in Chichibu for a little while…
…
…
… Wow! (…stay the hell out!!)
…
…+ I finally moved someplace civilized, + got a girlfriend (from back where I began).

She’s a good girl! …
“…Loves her ma’ma…”

I don`t know how she feels about Elvis, Jesus, America, or Tom Petty

I am ambivalent.

… about Tom Petty that is.

(But whenever I think - to myself /or out loud, that she`s a good girl, …the rest of that song follows through.)

It cost’s a lot to go and fall down a mountain.

The girls that I went with had some kind of discount coupon which allowed us to go and fall down the mountain at nearly half price, but there is no “Free Falling”.

What a horrible pun! I don’t particularly like or dislike Tom Petty, so I wonder why I’m trying to work that song into everything.

I didn’t even fall all that much that day, unless you want to think of it as “I fell for a girl”,

which I did:
There was a girl lying in the snow, and I didn’t want to run over her head, so I fell down to avoid hitting her.
- Ha! You would like think I meant that by its idiomatic usage, not that I literally fell to help a girl. Oh! Humor!

Indeed, idiomatically as well, I did come to like a girl, but in ordinary circumstances I would prefer to express that without using the word “fall”. Fond perhaps…

At this one point I was going to go over a jump, + I got settled into a nice neat line of approach, + fell down.
I went over the jump on my back; It was a peculiar feeling to go through the air that way.

The weather was great, the snow was also great, the girls that came by really really early on that Saturday morning to get me, were positively adequate. The one that I never liked so much, who for some strange reason also doesn’t like me so much, and a friend of hers drove us there and back. The one had plans for that evening in town, and the other lived several hours away, so we had to leave a little after 5pm. The pharmacist, of whom I am fond, whose house I stayed at over new years, was supposed to come that night to go snowboarding with me the next day as well, so it worked out for all of us. A good time was had by me, and probably by them too, but I was the only one who went over a jump on my back!!

I was obliged to go again the next day, but apprehensive as to how much fun it would be, stiff as I was, going 2 days in a row. I woke up that morning– sleepy and concerned. Sleepy: because it was still morning, and concerned: because I knew that that pharmacist, of whom I am fond, would be coming that evening, to stay over, and to somehow go to a ski-park with me the next day. I didn’t have a car, and had neglected to ensure that we would be able to get seats on the bus that goes to the ski-parks. The one girl that I went with that day, was kind enough to go with me to the park’s hotel’s information desk to ask about a bus that goes between the ski resort, and the station in the city.
The girl at the counter said in the most politely unintelligible Japanese, that there was a bus, but that it was only for people who were staying at the hotel. Luckily the other girl that took me that day found a brochure with information on another bus that goes to the ski-parks, that you didn’t need reservations for.

I had about an hour between getting home and having to go down to the train station to meet the pharmacist, of whom I am fond. I spent all of that time hanging my stuff up to be reasonably dry/ kempt for the same thing the next day.

I caught up with her alright.
We made spaghetti and stayed up late.

+ It turns out that she’s not really a morning person either, so despite her coming such a long way to go snowboarding, we never did go snowboarding.

We had breakfast at around 2pm, and finally left my apartment just after 7pm.

What a girl!

She’d been in Australia for the last year. Australia is considerably warmer than Nagano, and it’s currently summer there, and girls don’t really like the cold any which way, so I thought it best to buy a heater before she arrived.

I went to the only electronics shop in town once to look at heaters that might actually do some good – as opposed to the one that I bought some months earlier, which does not (heat/ do any good). The people in the electronics shop however, were not to be bothered with such trifling matters as “selling electronics”, so after looking around for someone to help me for 15/ 20 minutes I left.

I went to a recycle shop in the city near my town, and they had heaters, but the heaters were heavy, and would take 2 hands to carry, and it was a 35 minute long bike ride to get there, so I didn’t buy a heater there either. (The old man there did offer to have one delivered to me for free if I could wait until Sunday evening, but I knew that the Pharmacist, of whom I am fond, would be coming the day before, and leaving that night.)

I went back to the only electronics shop in town, midweek, and they were every bit as unhelpful as they were the last time, so I left again, after 15 minutes, again.

Come Friday I went back to the only store in town and waited them out.
I asked some guy if he was busy and he said he was.

He was still standing there on his own, “busy”, a half hour later.

I really really didn`t want to give those bastards any of my money, but I was again concerned that my apartment was far too cold for a nice looking girl to be comfortable. It wouldn’t be right to have her sleeping in her jacket and, indeed, It would be far preferable to have her not sleeping, and wearing very little…

For which it would be better to have a heater.

I found some jittery old guy to sell me the cheapest heater they had – an old looking battery powered kerosene one. I asked him where I`d be able to find a tank to keep/ carry kerosene in. He seemed to think that I was asking where to buy kerosene, then he seemed to think that I was suggesting that they give me a kerosene tank. He jumped to some peculiar conclusions, and totally disregarded my multiple inquiries into getting internet service. Man I hate that place! So much of my time was wasted there that night, that the home center (where it turns out they sell kerosene tanks) was closed.
A month or 2 before, I had seen several empty tanks at the expensive supermarket that I rarely go to, but they had been sold out the last time I went (a few weeks before).
After pushing my bike back home - across town, while carrying a heater, I went back to that supermarket. And wouldn’t you know: they did have the tanks, and not only that, but this time they had the same heater I just spent soooooo much time trying to get, …and it was about $20 cheaper, and I wouldn’t have had to deal with the dips%&s. from the electronics store nearly as much, or carry it across town.

It was worth the time and money - regardless. She sat on the floor next to the heater for a time, and it makes my apartment bearable when I am alone there as well.

She had to go back home, a city I lived in, not 10 minute’s walk from her, for the 1st 3 years I was in Japan. It might have been nice to have met her, when I did live there.

We decided to have dinner at the all vegetarian café in the city on her way to the Shinkansen/ express train, but it would be a little while before we got there, + all the snowboarding ( etc.) from the day before had affected my metabolism. We only had 6 minutes to spare, but we went to the Mr. Doughnuts under the station to get something to keep me from passing out.

There was a trainee there who was just learning to fold the paper bags properly, so we had to run up the stairs, through the station, and down another flight of stairs to catch the next train.

We got to the café later. Many many people had recommended it to me, and I always wanted to try it. The first time I tried to go I couldn’t find it. One time later, I tried to take a date there, but she wanted to go someplace else. Another time I went there alone, but it was just closing up for the night. And this time: it was a shop holiday/ closed for the day.
We went someplace else,
…which was nice enough.

She came back this last weekend, and brought her snowboard again, and we didn’t go snowboarding again, (or indeed leave my apartment until after dark the next day again), but this time neither of us had any intention of going. She brought the snowboard so that she could: tell her mom that she was going snowboarding (and make it appear so), and …so that she’d have a good excuse to come back again in another 2 weeks:
to get her snowboard.

We made soup one night, and went to a handmade noodle shop the next.

She makes my heart race, so I have to eat more to keep my blood sugar up.

I showed her a still life that I was working on, and she didn’t ask about the Auras surrounding the flowers.

She asked if I was religious, and I said that I didn’t have a religion (as such), but that I had a reason to think that certain things are…

She used some program on her cell-phone to check the train schedules, and find out what time the latest possible train she could take, to get the last Shinkansen back, to another train, + then her house would be. We didn’t have a whole 6 minutes to spare, so I said, jokingly, as we were jogging to the station, that: I didn’t think we had time to stop at Mr. Doughnuts this time. She said that she would love a doughnut. I said that we only had 3 minutes. She said that we would have to be fast. I said I would run in and get her something while she got her ticket. (That way she could still make it to her train if I didn’t make it with the doughnuts, …which of course I couldn’t have.

I ran in and ran past - a young couple deliberating on what kind of doughnuts they should get. I got a tray and a pair of doughnut tongs, and found myself, too, set back by the daunting task of choosing.

Given my usual pace, I think I chose very quickly on this occasion. – There was still no way I would have made it back to her in time mind you…
The guy at the counter asked me if I wanted them for there or to go. I hadn’t been alone in a fast food type of place for years and years, so I didn’t remember the exact concise Japanese phrase for: “Hurry up and put it in a bag, you Bastard!”,
…so in lieu of that, I just pointed to the door.

It turns out that the door is just beyond where all the seats are,

so that bastard went and got a new tray and a dish for me so I could sit down.

I explained that my girlfriend was waiting outside, and asked him if he didn’t have a paper bag.
He went and got a box.
I began to explain that I didn’t need a whole box for 3 doughnuts, but I stopped myself and left.

I figured she would have just got on the train, and I would be walking back home with 3 doughnuts in a large box that I would eventually eat by myself, but she had waited for me.
(The train hadn’t waited for her.)

Given that she had no way to get back (and I don’t think either of us was too upset by this), I asked her if she didn’t want to go back in Mr. Doughnut’s and pick out something maybe better suited to herself, but after all that, she really seem to even want a doughnut at all.

It was nice having her over for that extra night, even if I did have to wake up at 5:30 that next morning to see her off again – so that she could make it to work on time, …in another part of Japan.

The kerosene in the tank I bought ran out after she left that second (third) time, so I walked it to a gas station after work. I had a bit of trouble choosing what button to push on the all complicated – all Japanese menu screen on the pump. So it was good that another teacher from one of my schools came by after filling up his car to check on me.

He also observed – to my benefit – that I had dropped all my money on the ground.

But my ill luck was not entirely averted.
No.

The gas tank was heavy –
whatever 18 liters of kerosene weighs.

I thought I’d carry it back on my shoulder, and… after a time I became aware of a distinct kerosene scent, which was indeed: kerosene, dripping down the tank on my shoulder.
I resealed the tank, and carried it the rest of the way to my apartment before going to the store.
I tried not to stand still for very long at any time while in the store, because I got dizzy whenever the kerosene fumes from my jacket caught up to me.

Of course moving around all the time does tend to make you breathe heavier / inhale more fumes when you do stop. I got slightly nauseous and developed a bit of a lingering headache. When I got home again, I hung my jacket up outside + changed clothes.

When I wore the jacket, which I’d assumed would have aired out that next morning, the: shirt, pullover, and undershirt I was wearing all came to smell like kerosene within 5 minutes. That faded before too long, but I had to chain my jacket to my bike outside to keep everyone else from getting sick.

I thought I should take it to the cleaners after that, but the care tag inside said it was the kind of jacket that you wash in a washing machine.

Into the washing machine it went – Along with: some towels, socks and such…

I washed everything multiple times since then,
..with different blends of different soaps,
with splashes of perfume and rose oil mixed in,

…but I still find myself wearing a kerosene scented scarf,
And drying off with a kerosene scented towel whenever I get out of the shower.

This weekend I am going back to my 1st city, where my New girlfriend lives, where my old Japanese teachers are having a farewell party for some Korean people I’ve never met, and where my old roommate is having a 30th birthday party.

I’ll wear my kerosene soaked jacket in the hopes that all the cigarette smoke will dull / mask the odor.
I’ll do something akin to worrying about how I’ll be 30 in a few months myself, though I know it doesn’ make any difference really. Except perhaps that, I think it will feel entirely different to have to tell people that.

There was an end of the year party for all the teachers. It was held in the banquet hall of some hotel. I had a runny nose/ bit of a cold left over from a few days before Christmas, so when I got there, I hung up my jacket and ducked into the bathroom to get some tissues. When I came out, I saw some other teacher nervously running down the hall into the shower room. I asked him if he was going to take a shower, and he said: ‘No, he was looking for me’. When I asked why he was looking for me, he said that the lady that I gave my jacket to said ‘that it was “heavy”, and that she was worried’.

What a F&$#ing mystery that is…. !!!!!!

The teacher that I like, the one who tries to kill me with booze, the one who only speaks at parties, and only then about how much more we (I) could be drinking,… He had some sort of “problem” that required surgery/ He didn’t come to that party.

When wondering what was/ is wrong with my absent friend, I have to admit to the possibility that he might’ve had a heavy jacket (or perhaps an especially long scarf…) &%$%!!

I like that guy, but it was nice to be able to remember more than just the 1st 2 hours of a school party, …for a change.

This was a nice party, as parties should be, but not especially eventful.

On the next night:

One of my old Japanese teachers invited me to join her and a young girl (she knows I’m fond of), to have dinner and some drinks at a bar on the top of a building in a richer part of Tokyo.

I don’t really like Tokyo, but I like my old Japanese teacher, and I like young girls - young girls that I don’t have to go all the way to Tokyo to meet in particular.

This girl I met at this same old Japanese teacher’s Christmas party the year before. I invited her to my party the next day and someone else’s New Year’s party after that, and she came, and she moved to Australia a few days after that.

This place in Tokyo was really nice because: it was classy, I was not allowed to pay for any of it, I got to sit next to a young girl that I’m fond of, and when they told the Maitre’ d (= Head Waiter guy - I can’t spell that) …when they told him I was a vegetarian: he didn’t look at all worried (that always!! happens…), and he didn’t suggest they bring me a nice salad with beef cubes (…which has also happened).

There was a little creek running through the place, and a jazz quintet (with only 3 members - because I can‘t think of the right word for that just now, …but triplet seems …wrong), and they put fresh orchids in all the girly cocktails - so by the end of the night I had a pocket full of orchids. Hooray!

No one believed/ cared that you can eat orchids.

This nice former Japanese teacher of mine had arranged for me to stay at the home of a friend of her’s, on this occasion, and indeed whenever I went back to visit my old city. Her friend just happens to be the mother of the young girl, of which I am fond, who I met last year, who went to live in Australia, who came back to Japan for a few months, who was sitting beside me this night.

I laid awake in the futon in the spare room that they laid out for me, for a long long time wondering if/ + hoping that girl might stop in to wish me a good evening (in a French Maid’s outfit or something).
Perhaps it was at the cleaners.

On the next night:

I met my friend from England, his wife, and baby at a little restaurant. He and I started getting “warmed up/ drunk” for their party that evening at 5. Everyone else showed up at 8:30. My very previous ex-girlfriend also came. I asked how she’d been getting along and she said she had a wrinkle.

That’s where 2 years goes I suppose; She didn’t offer any other details except to announce loudly that I was getting a bald spot like a dirty old man she knows. I reminded her that I have larger boobs than her (and I don’t have any boobs at all - just to point a fact).

Other than that, and the fact that everyone went home at 11:15, it was a fairly nice party.

On my way back to that girl’s house that I was staying at, I stopped at the bar where I had my leaving Japan party the previous spring. I had bought a little souviner for the owner, who got to talking to me, and some other guy I’d met once before came in with 3 girls… + I didn’t wind up leaving until 5am.

12 hours is a lot of drinking in my opinion, and I never used to like drinking really.

I walked back to the girl’s house that I was staying at. I used the key that they gave me to get in - but they’d put the chain on the door as well; It’s the last thing you need an hour before dawn in the cold…

I thought about just sleeping on the front step, but then I figured that because I’m from New Jersey - I could work the damn thing loose.

I did eventually.

The practice came in very handy the next night, …when they put the chain on the door again…

I went to a party the next night:

That nice old (and when I say old I really mean it as former- much more than aged) Japanese teacher had thrown a Christmas party for me, which was a bit hit, and a great many people attended, but I was busy that day, so she did another one for me on this night. The girl and her mother whom I was staying with came, as did a few Nepali and Korean acquaintances, and my older drinking Canadian friend. They ordered everything that could be made meat/ fishless to be made, so I didn’t have a lot of time left over for drinking.

But after that party ended, ..and the girl and her mother, and most other people went home, my old Japanese roommate, my Canadian friend and I went out drinking. The staff at the bar smiled an awful awful lot!

After my older drinking Canadian friend wept comically for 20 minutes or so, my old Japanese roommate confessed that he’d given them (the staff) the hottest hot sauce in the world, which I’d brought for him from America some months before. We did “Rocks, Paper, Scissors” to see who could choose which of the cheese ball looking things they would eat. I wasn’t certain that they were all vegetarian, so I cheated and peaked, and it is well that I did so, …or I wouldn’t have a nice long funny video of my friend: talking about how strong he is, crying, …and asking for more ice-cream.

The ice-cream does help.

We had another party the next night . My English friend came along, and he drew the short straw but: I felt badly for him, I heard that hot sauce may cure Diabeties, and he paid me 830 yen to eat the hottest hot sauce in the world in his place.

There is a video of me crying and eating ice-cream as well, but I don’t think it is as funny…
It is true about my bald spot though…

We went to karaoke after. That night was the 31st, and we stayed up until 6:30ish. My old roommate tried to get me with a rolling kick one too many times (3 times), so I kicked part of the couch out of the way and he had a good solid fall to the floor. The year is young yet, but that is still the highlight, …thus far.

I stayed with my older drinking Canadian friend, because the girl whom I had been staying with was going to go to Korea with her mother early on the 1st. I was planning to take a train back to Nagano the day before the 1st, to make it in time for my favorite dance club’s closing forever party. I was told that that party went from 8pm to12 noon the next day. I was woken up just after noon by some boisterous drinking Canadians telephoning my friend via his computer/ web cam.

4 of the 6 of us from the night before drove to Nagano that evening. We got lost along the way, and everyone was later shocked at how cold my apartment is.

They have no gourmet vegetarian food at rest stops in Japan, but they have the cutest hello kitties in the gift shops.

I’m not really sure how I spent all the rest of my time off from work. I tried riding my bike to some of those famous sightseeing spots near my town, but I just wound up on an isolated road at the top of some far off mountain, at dusk, before I had to turn back. I mostly finished a painting I had all but given up on a little less than a year before: “the Other side” - coming soon! - though maybe not quite so so soon.

I cooked a nice soup.

I was invited to a party, than dis-invited mere minutes after accepting.

I was invited snowboarding (by the same girl), and heard no details whatsoever regarding the plans, so I excused myself from that excursion, and went with my newer drinking Canadian friend and his friends instead.

My neck and back still hurt.

My feet feel better.

For a time I thought I might turn into one of those human snowballs that keeps rolling down hill - getting bigger and bigger (like in those old cartoons).

The girl, whom I am fond of, whose home I stayed at while I was visiting my old city,

who I have not seen in a French Maid’s outfit,

whose mother kept “absent mindedly?“ putting the chain on the door,….

She wrote to say that Korea was nice, and that she intends to take me up on my offer of a place to stay/ to go snowboarding. This coming weekend. That’s something nice anyway.

I finally asked my landlord to have someone come and look at my sink. (It leaks and leaks persistently, but only when I am trying to sleep (It also leaked all the time I was in my old city.).) The plumber that came couldn’t make it leak (I was not trying to sleep at the time.). He suggested I put a sponge under the faucet when I get tired/ go on vacation.

Christmas in Japan is improving, but still very very weak.
Last year I went to a teeny tiny all vegetarian restaurant in Tokyo with a friend that doesn`t like Christmas, and another friend who doesn`t approve of vegetarian food. Afterwards we stopped at another place where we met my old roommate and his old girlfriend, and the 3 of them ordered/ ate a plate of whale. I had my eyes closed for about an hour.
This year I went to work, …and snuck out about 40 minutes early.
Then I went to City Hall to pay for my health insurance. In the evening there was a party with 10/15 other non-Japanese people, who also had to work that day. Everyone was slightly sullen, and continuously waiting for the 2 (poor) turkies they`d procured to be finished. I only brought 1 block of tofu, which was excellent, but there was only my 1 block of tofu, and several desserts for me to eat. It was of course better than sitting at home alone; My home is very cold.

On Christmas Eve there was a very good party. The only thing wrong with the party, was that I had to leave the Christmas Eve party early – to get up early to go to work on Christmas. I won at “Twister” again, …as I always do!

On Christmas Eve – Eve, I had a party at my house, and people seemed to have a good time at it. My Friend from Cornwall came to Japan to visit his wife`s family for Christmas + New Years. He came to see me that afternoon, + we started drinking later in the afternoon. I also invited the travel agent that always walks through my school, her friend from their travel company, and the 3 drinking friends of my Newer drinking Canadian friend. I invited a lot of other people as well, but those were the ones that came. They were loads of fun!

The day before that, I had a date with a girl who canceled at the last minute, because she`d gotten a boyfriend. I went to that little bar near my house to drink with the loud/ but congenial old lady that waits for me there. (It`s better than sitting at home alone, …and cold). The nice guy that works there gave me a little dish of noodles for free. They were meatless, but I don`t think they were entirely vegetarian `cause I started to feel sick when I got home, I was sicker on Christmas, and I am still sick now.

I am supposed to go back to my old city tomorrow to see my Cornish friend/ his wife/ and baby. – so it might perhaps be better to NOT be sick. I`m supposed to go to a party of one kind or another for the next 5 nights.

I`ll be staying at the home of a young pretty pharmacist, whose mother didn`t mind the company, while this girl was away in Australia for a year (even though the company was little “me”) – so perhaps it`s better that I am sick, …but probably not.

This girl I met last year, just before New Years day, about a week before she moved to Australia. She came back to Japan 2/ 3 days ago. I don`t know if she knows that I`m invited to come sleep on their floor for a few days. I`m still not sure what to do with myself when my Cornish friend and his family go back, …and the girl that went to Australia goes on to Korea but, I think it will entail some amount of shivering, and probably some dancing.

My father sent me some article about these scientists that had a funny idea about diabetes, …and cured it, (…in mice). They noticed that diabetics happen to have more nerve endings in their pancreases, so for “the scientific fun of it”, they took those diabetic mice and injected them with Capsicum (pepper extract). Those mice woke up the next day – not diabetic – and remained “not diabetic” for past several months. They intend to perform further studies.

Encouraged by this news I have decided to drink a bottle of hot sauce every night, until I run out of hot sauce (probably 2 nights later).

I`ll take this new wonder medicine: “Hot sauce” and rub it in the eyes of the thankful (once) blind. I`ll sprinkle it on burns, cuts, and bruises. I`ll use “Hot sauce” to cure the uncomfortable numb mouth, sweat, and dizziness caused by injesting too much hot sauce.
Will hot sauce heat my house?

One of the old ladies that sells bread at the bottom of the stairs under my apartment tells me that I was on T.V..
I wondered why they had those big ass cameras pointed at me, but I figured it was for some kind of video.
Those people, who had the 7 lengthy meetings as to how the party ought to be organized, …and what sized paper plates to distribute - they’re picky about details.
I imagined they would continue having meetings for all the months following the party, …looking for ways to improve next year’s deal, …and I‘m probably not wrong about that, but it turns out they showed it all on T.V..
I asked what channel it was on, which was silly of me, seeing that my T.V. doesn’t work.

This is the end of the year, …you may be aware of this, - or living in the future…,
regardless,
this is the season where there are a great many “End of the Year Parties”. It’s nice when I am invited.
I typically accept invitations when I am able to. Restaurants in Japan typically have very very little for a genuine vegetarian, such as myself. I appreciate the merriment, but I AM growing slightly weary of having nothing but French fries and salad for dinner every night.

I, of course, have continued to propose amusing excursions to a small selection of the pretty girls I know hereabouts and they, ….give me the weakest excuses!! Or slightly more frequently - never respond.
That girl that never met me to go dancing (twice!), she wrote - out of the hazy blue.
She suggested I have all my friends meet her and all of her friends at some restaurant in her town. I wrote back to remind her that I don’t have any friends, which is not true, but if I were to have them come with me way the hell out of the way to meet a bunch of girls that will never show up, …I would have fewer friends.

This girl that has no interest in me, nor I in her, - except that I find someone with no interest in me, well …
“fascinating” …

She wanted me to go to some dance recital of hers. She’s good to me, so I felt in no way eager, but rather obliged to go. After I said I would go, she tried to get me to take more than one ticket. It seemed like she had too many tickets, but I didn’t spend an awful lot of time reading her Japanese mail all too carefully. I thought I might as well ask that girl that stood me up twice…
I asked that girl that stood me up twice.

She gladly accepted, and stood me up a 3rd time!
I knew she would,
…but you know how doing all those push-ups is supposed to make you stronger.

I had already arranged to meet/ go dancing with the girl “that at least shows up, though rarely ever writes back“, - after the recital, but when I called after the recital, which she rightly had no interest in, she was asleep, and planning to continue to sleep.

I was going to just go dancing on my own after that, but I hadn’t had lunch, it was 9pm, and there were no vegetarian friendly establishments anywhere at all during the hour I walked around the city looking.
Truth be told, there was one, but it closes at 9:30, and they weren’t as pleased as I - that I managed to get there 2 minutes before they closed.

When I got home later - ashamed at my existence, I just cooked myself dinner. Some lady I met at that international party, where they filmed me singing on stage, wrote to say that she read that article I wrote for the newspaper about how I couldn’t get to the twin waterfalls. I wrote back to tell her that I bought a bottle of wine to cook with, but that I couldn’t open it until the corkscrew store opened up the next day. She must not have wanted to come by with a corkscrew and help me, though I assured her that the Cous Cous was entirely vegetarian.
Some people are just really weird!

My friend who works at the dance place that I didn’t go to that night, says it was full of beautiful girls that night. There was an old Crow saying that: rain falls equally on everyone’s head/ Every life has its challenges/ hardships,
…but I do maintain that I am a special case.
But I have met 2 other people this past week that have been hit by cars.
(Japanese drivers are worse than any New York Taxi!)
I met a kid with no fingers on one hand, a kid that must have some disorder, because he looks like an old man, and a pubescent Brazilian girl. - Mind you there’s nothing whatsoever wrong with being a pubescent Brazilian girl, but to be one in an Elementary school full of entirely flat-chested Japanese girls, that can speak Japanese - would certainly be difficult.
Perhaps I ought not complain that I seem to be going blind.
Recently, when I go from someplace cool/cold to anyplace warmer …I can’t see/ can’t see well for a half hour or so. Everyday when I go into school, all the other teachers sit at their desks like blurry cloud shapes.
Also, more and more often, when my blood sugar drops down, things and people disappear from my field of vision.
The 1st time I met that girl that has since stood me up 3 times, I had one of my school’s head English teacher take me to the table with the sugar packets. I could hear her laughing when it was explained that I was diabetic, but I could hardly see her for those first few minutes.
Mind you I never see her now either…

Last night, after the Nagano branch of the larger company’s: End of the Year Party, I went to the dance club where my friend works - to see if any of those beautiful girls from the previous week had returned, and they must have, but I figured I had all night to talk to any of them, and they all left early. Later I was introduced to a pair of good dancers, whom I may or may not find myself adding to the pool of poor excuses. One of them looks very much like a girl I had a dream about not so long ago.
I’ve been meaning to re-read my copy of “Psychic Development for the Beginner“, but it seems to be working on a limited basis on its own anyhow.
At some of these parties that I have been to recently, I have met some people, whom I have given this website’s address to. On the chance that any of them are, and are able to have read and understood this much (in my decidedly non-basic English), I would advise them to not read any of my previous Journal entries because:
- It’s a lot of hard work reading things. - Salutations!!
- If they were to find out about: my now reoccurring dreams of naked fat girls - I would be embarrassed!

I`m not too sure about what sorts of people read these. I`ve said that before, and I am saying it now, again. Chances are, if you`re using the internet you can handle the following, but you may want to take this as your warning:

This is “the Truth” after all….

You see, I had a dream that I was having sex with a fat girl, and she was making fun of me all the while. I remember thinking that it might be fun to flip her over and maybe smack her big soft abusive butt once or twice, but I didn`t seem to think it would work. She didn`t like the way I talk or something… I might have told her that she could stand to be a lot friendlier/ and a lot fitter, but you never think of things like that when you`re dreaming; I thought of it when I woke up though, and was ever so slightly perturbed.
I tried to go back to sleep to see if she had a better looking friend or sister roaming around in my head, but I was too awake at that point. - Peculiar.

So I lay in bed mourning the arrival of another morning – as is my custom, and eventually got up to go out painting again.
The day before was beautiful – a great day to go out painting, but I had to help set up for the City`s Annual International Party then. I especially had to be there, because I was scheduled to stand on stage alone and sing.
That I`ve done several times before, and the results are typically less than entirely good.
I`ve either gotten better in the last few years, or everyone in Japan is very polite, perhaps it is both. I actually had a very nice time there. I met a lot of good looking young ladies that I will certainly never hear from again. Oh, I`ve been waiting!
This is what I wrote to my Manager this morning:
“Thank-You! At this school, I can check my e-mail and print things - neither with any sort of hassle. Can`t say I`m too pleased about working on Christmas - I guess that means I`ll be stuck in the area - not that there was anything particularly special going on in Saitama on the 25th. No classes at all today, so I`m grading papers/ updating my webpage/ wondering why none of the semi-sexy ladies from the international party haven`t written to ask if they can come by for an erotic massage.
The lady that works in my building - whom I have to make water payments to, said to ask my “Oyasan” if I have an external water pipe heater installed or not. I thought she was the “Oyasan”. “Name withheld” said she would come by to look sometime but: I haven`t heard from her since our drunken Jenga game after the international party, and I doubt she knows anything about external water pipe heaters besides. She`s still more than welcome to come, as I`ve decided to open a “LADIES ONLY Erotic Massage Parlor” - and I may need some practice. - I may need the practice, but I`d absolutely make that up for that with Enthusiasim - I can assure you.”

This is what I wrote to my sister last month:
“ I don`t really want anything. Maybe some nice Oatmeal. If I`d have known 10 years ago that I was looking forwards to getting oatmeal for Christmas I would have cried.”.

This is what I wrote to myself last month:
“Don`t forget to write back to Mr. Fuji”

….but it`s not like I have to take orders from myself is it?!! (I forgot + just remembered today)

This is what I wrote to a friend of mine 3 years ago:
“I meant to write - to you, and other people, but I always forget whenever I’m actually near a computer. How was Christmas/ New-Years?
I came back to the US for about 2 weeks. My girlfriend bought a ticket to New York, so I had to go too, then after I got the extra day and a half off of work, paid for the ticket, and told everyone I was coming back, she canceled (’cause she needed the money to move out of her house? - no details available, I think she just changed her mind. I’m gonna look for a new girlfriend, but I always introduce all the girls I know to all the other girls I know, and they all talk to each other – collude to not go out with me.) I figure my grandparents are getting old and I should try to see them at least once a year anyway”.

I got rid of that old one about a half a year after writing that, but I still haven`t gotten a new girlfriend…
My Grandmother died last month, …some changes are easier to rely on – it would seem.

Last week I had a date with this girl that I had a date with maybe a month and a half before that. I had a great time both times, but she never writes back, except on the rare occasion to say that she`s too busy.
I still like her better than that girl that used to ask me to go out dancing with her and never showed; And I like her far far better than the fat girl that haunts my sleep.

I asked this other girl I didn`t/ don`t really like, if she`d like to come by for dinner one night, and she said okay, and later asked if she could bring her 3 friends along. I figured I may as well throw a party if that was what was going to happen anyway, so I invited the girl I had had the one date with and hadn`t heard back from in over a month. She wrote back to say that she was too busy then though.
The girl I don`t really like brought along some other girl, who I did like better, but didn`t have the chance to speak to then or ever afterwards.

It feels like I`m damn Rodney Dangerfield – if you remember him.

I had a dream that small groups of Aliens, Angels, and Spirit Demons were watching me to see how I would react when they revealed that despite all my efforts, I`ve been doing something confoundedly wrong for the past few years. What else can you do but change and hope it`s not a trick of some sort.

I met an angel kind of a thing once, but it just wanted me to stop what I was doing and go back inside of my body.
You never think to ask Angel seeming kinds of things about Rodney Dangerfield or any of that when you find yourself suddenly loose/ in spirit form.