December 2006

One of the old ladies that sells bread at the bottom of the stairs under my apartment tells me that I was on T.V..
I wondered why they had those big ass cameras pointed at me, but I figured it was for some kind of video.
Those people, who had the 7 lengthy meetings as to how the party ought to be organized, …and what sized paper plates to distribute - they’re picky about details.
I imagined they would continue having meetings for all the months following the party, …looking for ways to improve next year’s deal, …and I‘m probably not wrong about that, but it turns out they showed it all on T.V..
I asked what channel it was on, which was silly of me, seeing that my T.V. doesn’t work.

This is the end of the year, …you may be aware of this, - or living in the future…,
regardless,
this is the season where there are a great many “End of the Year Parties”. It’s nice when I am invited.
I typically accept invitations when I am able to. Restaurants in Japan typically have very very little for a genuine vegetarian, such as myself. I appreciate the merriment, but I AM growing slightly weary of having nothing but French fries and salad for dinner every night.

I, of course, have continued to propose amusing excursions to a small selection of the pretty girls I know hereabouts and they, ….give me the weakest excuses!! Or slightly more frequently - never respond.
That girl that never met me to go dancing (twice!), she wrote - out of the hazy blue.
She suggested I have all my friends meet her and all of her friends at some restaurant in her town. I wrote back to remind her that I don’t have any friends, which is not true, but if I were to have them come with me way the hell out of the way to meet a bunch of girls that will never show up, …I would have fewer friends.

This girl that has no interest in me, nor I in her, - except that I find someone with no interest in me, well …
“fascinating” …

She wanted me to go to some dance recital of hers. She’s good to me, so I felt in no way eager, but rather obliged to go. After I said I would go, she tried to get me to take more than one ticket. It seemed like she had too many tickets, but I didn’t spend an awful lot of time reading her Japanese mail all too carefully. I thought I might as well ask that girl that stood me up twice…
I asked that girl that stood me up twice.

She gladly accepted, and stood me up a 3rd time!
I knew she would,
…but you know how doing all those push-ups is supposed to make you stronger.

I had already arranged to meet/ go dancing with the girl “that at least shows up, though rarely ever writes back“, - after the recital, but when I called after the recital, which she rightly had no interest in, she was asleep, and planning to continue to sleep.

I was going to just go dancing on my own after that, but I hadn’t had lunch, it was 9pm, and there were no vegetarian friendly establishments anywhere at all during the hour I walked around the city looking.
Truth be told, there was one, but it closes at 9:30, and they weren’t as pleased as I - that I managed to get there 2 minutes before they closed.

When I got home later - ashamed at my existence, I just cooked myself dinner. Some lady I met at that international party, where they filmed me singing on stage, wrote to say that she read that article I wrote for the newspaper about how I couldn’t get to the twin waterfalls. I wrote back to tell her that I bought a bottle of wine to cook with, but that I couldn’t open it until the corkscrew store opened up the next day. She must not have wanted to come by with a corkscrew and help me, though I assured her that the Cous Cous was entirely vegetarian.
Some people are just really weird!

My friend who works at the dance place that I didn’t go to that night, says it was full of beautiful girls that night. There was an old Crow saying that: rain falls equally on everyone’s head/ Every life has its challenges/ hardships,
…but I do maintain that I am a special case.
But I have met 2 other people this past week that have been hit by cars.
(Japanese drivers are worse than any New York Taxi!)
I met a kid with no fingers on one hand, a kid that must have some disorder, because he looks like an old man, and a pubescent Brazilian girl. - Mind you there’s nothing whatsoever wrong with being a pubescent Brazilian girl, but to be one in an Elementary school full of entirely flat-chested Japanese girls, that can speak Japanese - would certainly be difficult.
Perhaps I ought not complain that I seem to be going blind.
Recently, when I go from someplace cool/cold to anyplace warmer …I can’t see/ can’t see well for a half hour or so. Everyday when I go into school, all the other teachers sit at their desks like blurry cloud shapes.
Also, more and more often, when my blood sugar drops down, things and people disappear from my field of vision.
The 1st time I met that girl that has since stood me up 3 times, I had one of my school’s head English teacher take me to the table with the sugar packets. I could hear her laughing when it was explained that I was diabetic, but I could hardly see her for those first few minutes.
Mind you I never see her now either…

Last night, after the Nagano branch of the larger company’s: End of the Year Party, I went to the dance club where my friend works - to see if any of those beautiful girls from the previous week had returned, and they must have, but I figured I had all night to talk to any of them, and they all left early. Later I was introduced to a pair of good dancers, whom I may or may not find myself adding to the pool of poor excuses. One of them looks very much like a girl I had a dream about not so long ago.
I’ve been meaning to re-read my copy of “Psychic Development for the Beginner“, but it seems to be working on a limited basis on its own anyhow.
At some of these parties that I have been to recently, I have met some people, whom I have given this website’s address to. On the chance that any of them are, and are able to have read and understood this much (in my decidedly non-basic English), I would advise them to not read any of my previous Journal entries because:
- It’s a lot of hard work reading things. - Salutations!!
- If they were to find out about: my now reoccurring dreams of naked fat girls - I would be embarrassed!